Thursday, June 28, 2007

My situation. I'm sad -- To the one i love

sometimes, i will feel i'm failed to live in this world.. I'm normal in everypart.. i can handle everything with the mood " happy go lucky" .. But, my lose part is in LOVE.....

This word, "LOVE" make me experienced many unsuccessful things, suffer and unhappy.I can't handlw my love with good... When look at some of my friends, i feel so jealous.. They not need so close with their partner, still can continue this relationship with good.But y i cannot.. my partner will automatic appear in my mind everyday, everyhour, n sometimes every minutes....

Arguements are the most scary things in my life. Every arguement, i jsut will think negative. "Is it he will break up wit me?" this is the most paragraph appear in my brain everytime arguement happened. I'm not really enjoy argue with my partner.. But, less communication make the arguement increase. I thought he will do like that, then he thought another way. Then argue. Furthermore, The words from your mouth, so hurt so hurt. U can imagine when your lover scolded you with such words, how pain you are.. U just can't feel it..

this year just started, i'm doing something 100% wrong.I'm leave you alone, i'm selfish,i'm hurt you.I thought we really finish that time.. But when i get to know we can start together again, you know how happy am i ??? I let u go in my heart again. I promised u, i will changed back to the one u knew.. i did...i really changed back.. But it is useless now. We go through so many barriers together, but now, just a small matter, u change.....

The most i need from my partner just love and care, is it hard to u??? Recently, i can't really feel safe for the relationship i have now... i'm no more confident to continue my life with this relationship.. I'm scare.. I want to giv up.. But this is my weak part.. I cannot so strong and say " goodbye" easily.I will keep thinking the important u in my life. But i'm suffering when i can feel ur "cold" to me.Feel like we are stranger. ur call, just like a responsible and not from ur heart. Ur care, just like a responsible and not from your heart...

I'm not really good to show out and tell out all i think, i need. This is 1 of the reason we get into this situation like now. I can feel, this realtionship is not agree by all.. we cannot walk out together infront of ppls we knew.. We just can get together behind them.. Is it this kind of relationship will get success??? Y we know all ppls not agree with us, we still wan get togeter?? What the point...I appreciate everytime to dating with you, but currently, i can feel your tired to meet up with me..... Less communication will make the realtionship end up easily... Currently, this is one of the issue let me feel no safe... I even dunno wat your lunch for today..We really less communicate day by day

What i need, is you.. but y u never get me. In 1 week, how many times u leave me alone when i really need u?? my tears, my bad attitude also bcox of u. But is all this , u will appreciate??? I'm working and will start my part time study.. The most i need now is the care and love from you. Is it hard??? I let you go in my heart again and again, but y u wanna hurt me again and again. I'm tired. I wan to give up. I dunwan to let u get in my heart then hurt me again.
You promised me few things, but all this jsut a way u let me fall into a deep, black hole. The most hurt me is u gave me the hope for future....I cannot feel any hope from u anymore especially the one for future. I thought we are going to get a better future together after we pass all the barriers together.. I really appreciate wat have u did for me. And happy with all this cox it can prove our relationship..But now............

I love you.. But i dunno how to love u anymore..... I'm tired........I really need someone to care n love me, you know that,just a msg from you, from your heart, can calm me down, can make me feel happy...I'm tired!! We happy with situation now?? Can i give up this relationship?? Can i start my life without you.. If can, i hope you the one help me to do that......I just really love you, really need u, my dear.. I really put out many hope in this relationship.. i really hope we can go through our future together.... Can we???

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